kinda bpred, i need to get up and do something like now… i am going crazy i personally thing that being higha dn being on thr computer the whole time is boring as fuck.. and ahhh i noticed something today.. i say “dude” to much like alot but only when im thinking of something lesbian like even the slightest thing pops in my head for the tinniest second i say it and i think my friend notices.
I feel like a messssssss
I want my room downstairs like i could have curtains and sruff and my dads shit would go upstairs it would be sickkk
Imwant a simple life. Parents that go places and stay home but arent obsessed with electronics but still dont mond that i smoke amd my friends arent obsessed with thfe world or everything that in and normal and would let loos. Just be natural like chillen, i dont give a fuck kind of people and relax and have dun and go on adventures just get along and be real like id have a girlfriend and be really cute but it wouldnt be a terrible relationship itd be a healthy and good one . I would be able to tell my friends everythinggg and the truth without being weird about it plus just like 6-12 people i would hang out with and someone could play guitar and sing. We’d Get annoyed bu we would tell eachother
Its weird…i tzhink sex and all that is soo weird like its awkward formmemi just think its gross like id never want that to be ambig part of my relationship i would never actually want that.
Everyone is not alike and we all have different dreams and goals wehave to achieve but evert mistake or something that wasnt right takes you farther away from youe dreams and stuff and thats why we feel recarnated like we have been through it efore because you made so much mistakes and not accepting yourself who you are and trying to be what others what you to be like they are trying to change your dream and you lost your dream and had to start over..like deja vu
I just dont want friends who iGnore who i am. Im sory bu not in a mean way its just i feel different like out of place way like the ugly duckling and i want to be somewhere where i am fully accepted without being ignored or not respected of who i am
Lol..sex.. I hate that word its so uncomfortable for me im about as sexy as a panda lol seriously its kinda gross really and awkward just me? I want a girlfriend though and someone to talk to cause someday im going ti explode.
I need to get better at checking girlsout especially in choir ugh joelle always looks at me so i cant tell if she notices what im doing….maddie omg she is so perfect i hardly know her but shes cute quirky and perfect like she be the one who could make me a little better like she sees the good in me… Idk that would be awesome id she were my girlfriend. I see her all the time at school im just too awkward and nervous to go talk to her. But shes perfect something anout her since the first time i laid eyes on her, and i told her i liked her hair and she told me thanks, i like you.:c ive been attached since then ive had this feeling i usually dont evvverrrrrr get except for ali shes an expception both of them are so perfect and beautiful.
High as fuck listening to music a bitndrunk by myself and its chill i just really want a girlfriend thats all…someone to cuddle with, take places, buy her things, be cute with, to make her feel more beautiful than she is, to make her feel likemshe isnt worthless and knows that someone will love her and for someone to love me. I dont expect the perfect long relaionship where we are IN love and grow old together, just a big meaning in my life niw. I expect fights and problems but at least i would have a girlfriend im single as fuckkkkkk.
I sometimes feel like im being fake
I just realized thw promis i made to myself. Work out at least 4 times a wesk, dont dut or purge dont binge and i failed all of them…we all broke our goals
^^^^i found this in my notes from last night and so much of it is true except when i found this in my notess it had alotttt of spelling mistakes lol
ugh :/
sometimes i wish i had a choice to be straight..
- teacher: why didnt you do your homework
- me: i died in an MRI machine
- me: the release of endorphins was tragically beautiful
